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Thursday, 19 November 2009

  • Holiday Fears and Joys

    With Lurkey Turkey Day approaching I know it's going to be another one of those "Love Hate" holiday seasons. I am already trying to figure out (and stressing because that's me) about what I will be doing starting Tuesday night. A large part of me wants to get the heck out of dodge and flee to the comforts of Scott's house leaving my mom and sister to clean and tackle the baking to be done for 15 people. My mom usually yells at me during holidays even when I try to help. I'm no Martha Stewart, I just get in the way. So it's better for me to go to my own Switzerland of neutrality.

    Come Thursday, I could just pop in to my parents for the festivities, but I feel as though my family (my mom mainly) would be disappointed that I don't spend all day with the family, starting with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade tradition and microwaved pancakes. I could roll out of bed early and drive back just in time though.

    But my main concern is the fear of knowing that every time holidays roll around the significant other and I start to quarrel. I'm sure it happens in every relationship. The "How to split the family time" problem, the "which side are you going to see" problem, the "when will I get to see you" problem, the "christmas tree decorating" problem (which last year was me putting up the tree by myself, and crying in bed quietly later), the ever so anxiety looming question of "is this the Christmas I get something shiny and small under the tree". I'm even stressed out for no reason about trying to find our dog a Santa costume. I think this year the question of what to get him will be much easier to tackle than in years past. God bless Amazon wish lists.

    I'm a big ball of stress around holidays. I don't even have legal in-laws to worry about (although I never will have that problem). And I know that  the same old let down will occur when Scott says I can't go to Kansas for his side's Christmas with his aunts and uncles. Even though his Aunt has invited me two years in row. humpf.

    It always seems like when holidays roll around I tend to be on edge and unhappy. I have a LOT going on in the next couple of weeks. A) thanksgiving B) wrapping up my college career C) COLLEGE GRADUATION D) St. Lucia Day (Norwegian custom my sister and I do) E) Christmas Eve F) Christmas Day G) oh crap, I just remembered New Years Eve.

    Wake me up in mid-January please.



  • Seriously, Let Go of My Eggo!

    The national deficit, the health care bill, unemployment, homeless Veterans...meaningless.

    There is a real national crisis on hands ladies and gents. There is an EGGO WAFFLE SHORTAGE!!

    I saw the news today that Eggo waffles are being rationed to grocery stores. Apparently two of their bakeries are not producing the delicious morning staple goodness. What's a skinny girl to eat in the morning? I like my waffles, crispy yet moist golden waffles straight from the toaster.

    There is an evil at work. I blame commis and Trix the Rabbit for this.

    What's next to be rationed?? Who would have thought Eggo waffles would be rationed till Mid 2010? That's next summer!!! I'm supposed to go all winter AND spring limited to a breakfast of champions? This will not suffice! I want my Eggos!

    CEOs at Kellogs, LET GO OF MY EGGOS!!!

Monday, 16 November 2009

  • Girl Scouts is Indoctrinating Our Girls

    Remember when people were up in arms about President Obama's speech to the kiddies? Republicans were foaming at the mouth that it was a way to indoctrinate our kids. Comrade Obama though only had the message of "Do good in school" "Wash your hands" and "Study hard". As a teacher, I respect those keynotes.

    Now, whether or not the speech was the original speech, I'm having my doubts. Either way, we indoctrinate our kids in other ways.

    Comrade Ronald McDonald did a superb job at making our Americans fat lard asses who don the oh so comfy sweatpants and XXL t-shirts daily in kindergarten classes to the college classes.

    Comrade Steve Jobs and Comrade Bill Gates turned ordinary society into walking robotic zombies with tiny hand held computers glued to our fingers. We know where you are, what you're doing, who you're sleeping with, who you went to elementary school with, and what food you just deposited into a toilet thanks to an App.

    People tend to forget the one organization that indoctrinates kids. Think Hilter Youth, just not as wide spread. Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts my friends. If you think about it, the ideology that Girl Scouts are to pledge our allegiance to our organization, country, and those tasty cookies is enough to question indoctrination in our little girls.

    I was a Girl Scout. I graduated from Brownie to Junior Girl Scout, bitches. Those Lemonades cookies made me do it. We were poisoned with deliciousness to keep us members. In a sense you could also call it a huge lesbo fest too. 25 girls all bunked together in a cabin out in the suburban woods of Kansas City. 4th grade girls are bound to do something stupid. I was not a witness, only a distant listener to Lacy and Tara in the shower.

    The uniforms scream military prep. The 'lessons' were preparation guides to do "womans" work.

    Oh yes, I figured it out in college what those little brown knee high socks and brown sash with patches really meant. I can't speak for the Boy Scouts, but let's face it, it's like pre-ROTC for little 5 year olds with pocket knives.

    This can be taken as sarcasm really, but there may be some underlying tones that we are indoctrinated in various ways.

    Zeig Heil!


Sunday, 15 November 2009

  • Things Never Happen My Way

    This is going to come across as one of those "Oh poor me" rants, when honestly I am very blessed with just what I have, and I am thankful for it.

    But, I am human, therefore I want more.

    I decided to catch up with a friend of mine who I hadn't spent time with in over a year. She usually drove me crazy every time we'd hang out because she was single. She had really low self-confidence, was a slob, grossly overweight but thought she could wear a small, and a hypocondriact. When you get a papercut you do not need stitches, she'd go to the Urgent Care hospital for that. Yea.

    Two months ago she started dating a guy. Being the nice friend that I am, I decided I'd offer to hang out at the mall one day with her to catch up. I had told her to try online dating to get over her fears of men. She thought all men were rapists, she wouldn't look waiters in the eye.

    She dated one guy for awhile and broke up with him. Now she's dating another guy.

    I always knew I'd be the one to be engaged, married, and have a couple kids before she ever found a boyfriend. Call me cruel, but it was a honest judgment.

    She showed up at the food court were I had planned to meet her. She had lost weight, she had a happy glow to her, she was dressed nice, and I could tell this guy was really good for her. I was happy for the improvement to my friend. She credited me because she had met her boyfriend on eHarmony.

    Then she told me she wanted me to be her bridesmaid for that on October 10, 2010.

    HUH?

    Yea, after two months of dating this guy, they seemed to click quickly. They're engaged, shopping for the right ring and house.

    I nearly busted down in tears in Victoria's Secret. I cried once I got to my car.

    ALL of my friends are engaged and married or living with their significant other IN LESS TIME than I have been with Scott.

    I'm looking like the old maid with a lack of commitment boyfriend. I am so sick and tired of people asking me "When are you ever going to get engaged?"

    It's not the wedding day, the ring, the dress, the flowers, or the honeymoon that I want. NO. I want a PROMISE and a COMMITMENT that after nearly 3 1/3 years of being with someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I don't need a $10,000 Tiffany or a $75 pawn shop ring, I just want someone to tell me they want ME sitting next to them in a rocking chair at 80.

    It's frustrating because after 3 years you think it's time and the other half doesn't care nor understand the importance. He keeps saying "I have no money". But there is money for beers with guy friends and concert tickets. There was money for all that landscaping. But there is no money or even WORDS to make the person you love happy and feel secure.

    I am so sick of people getting engaged and married after one year of being with someone. I thought I was doing the right thing by  waiting to get out of college. I thought I was doing the right thing to spend time figuring out that I do indeed want to marry him. And there is no promise, no commitment, nothing.

    I have myself worked up so much I'm so cynical and angry. I'm stressed out and have anxiety attacks. All I do is pester him about the topic. But I am so tired of looking like a fool with a guy that doesn't appear to care.

    Shotgun weddings need a comeback.

iStephanieMarie

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